Choices, Changes, and the madness of the Apostle Paul

The things I want to do I do not do, and what I do not want to do I do.

These words of Paul from Romans 7:15 are my heart at this moment. In this I feel what he felt, that I desire to be closer to God, but I am continuously propelled backward by my sin nature. It is maddeningly frustrating, but I understand the madness of the Apostle Paul. Indeed, I find myself feeling the same way.

I made the decision before this semester started that things were going to be different. I was going to call God out on his promises. What I mean by this is that he has promised to take me as far spiritually, mentally, and emotionally as I will let them him take me in maturity. I want to be that Man of God.
And I will not play games anymore.

This is bigger than me, than my conceited desires of this world that seek for ownership of my soul, and will take every piece that I let them take.
But only as much as I let them

The Christian life is a choice.
You choose to accept Salvation, and once you have you are no longer a sinner. You are a Saint who sins, but only as much as you choose to.

The reason all sin is the same in Gods’ eyes is because all sin is compromise, it is all us making the choice that “this isn’t so bad….”

Through all your individual stipulations and specific situations and whatever excuses you use to make yourself more comfortable with sin the fact remains that it is a choice.

I’m not trying to just preach fire and brimstone and condemnation or anything like that. I’m just sharing my heart, because I am just as guilty as you are. To quote Paul again as he parallels my own life, “I am the chief of sinners.”

Indeed I am, even as I make the choice to change my life to pursue God more completely I am still a sinner.
But I digress… I am a Saint who sins.
And once you have made the choice to accept salvation, so are you.

So I urge you, through our brokenness, to help each other pursue God more completely than we ever have before.

Though I myself have compromised, though I have discovered the madness and the frustration of “the things I want to do I do not do, and what I do not want to do I do.”

I am still loved by God, and through my shortcomings there is his grace, and through my faults I am yet loved more than I can ever understand.

A life in full pursuit of God cannot be lived alone, you have to have brothers and sisters sharpening you, keeping you accountable, and growing with you.
So I ask for your help, join me in this pursuit of God, and do not accept compromise, for the sake of us both. Pursue him passionately, with nothing held back, and see what he does in return.

John 17:12
-Israel