Pancake, Vulnerability, And The Men Who Wrestle with God

So... this has been almost the worst week ever for me. Spiritually that is. I picked up something that I had given up, and it of course... ran me straight into a brick wall. My walk is not going anywhere. I had lots of knees and face to the ground time. Alot Alot. I read just about the whole book of Psalms too. Didn't do me any good. At least, not how I wanted it to.

I wanted that attitude gone. But that doesn't mean God just takes it away just like that. He can, sure, but that's not how it works more often than not. You have to give it up, you have to really desire it, or as God has shown me, I have to beat it on my own, then he will take the rest.

I got almost an hour of sleep tuesday night, I spent it with God, I know he spoke to me, but I didn't hear, my mind was too distracted and my heart was too hard. The next I was running on no sleep, which gives God more leeway into my heart because without sleep it's alot harder to to hold up defenses. So I start hearing God more. Did I mention the Chris Tomlin/Matt Redman/Louie Giglio thing was amazing. God talked alot then. He was there oh my gosh was he there. Louie Giglio was speaking prophecies and didn't even know it. Haha

Fast forward to thursday, I spend the whole day with God again, haven't heard him all morning. A dear friend whom I love dearly, and knows wha'ts going on with me texted me. "How are you"
I reply, "I just need a word, I need God to tell me something, even if God says pancake I'm good."
I send it and close the phone, guess what I hear from the still small voice.
"Pancake"

God just said pancake.
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

I love God.

God speaks when you listen.
You might not like what he says, but he does speak.


This thought has been swirling in my head all day, here is my best attempt at putting it to words:
The worlds concept of a man says to be cold, unapologetic, never to cry, never to feel or show weakness. This is a lie from hell. A real man is one who can stand up for his actions, to put his heart out to one who would break it. A real man will wrestle with God himself over what he knows is right, because the love God has given him demands no less. A real man will get down on his knees and weep simply because his heart is broken for those he loves who have not felt the greater love that changes his life every single day.

In Genesis 32 Jacob is camping out, he sends his family away so he can be by himself. That night he wrestles with God. He wrestles until daybreak, the man fighting Jacob says "let me go." Jacob's reply is fantastic, "Not until you bless me!" So God blesses him, and changes his name. "Israel, because you have fought with God and won.

I had a dream. The first dream in as long as I can remember, and that was it, except Jacob is me. I woke up with my heart beating hard and fast like I had been wrestling. I look up at the ceiling and smile and my first words of the day "I win."
And he blessed me.

Genesis 32:28
-Jason

Inebriated, Standing Ovations, and Kill the Devil!

"Intoxicated" By the great and amazing David Crowder

Intoxicating You are to me
Illuminating You are to see
Truly breathtaking You are to breathe
Sending my head spinning You are, You see

And I've lost my mind, I'm sure to find
Need to apologize for my
Lack of inhibition, for my belligerent condition
But with You this near I'm dizzy

Inebriating You are to me
Completely captivating You are yo see
Sending my world spinning You are, You see

And now I find a blurry line
Here between You and I
Raise the cup, drink 'til I'm full
Sing 'til I can't, 'til my voice is gone
And my head is spinning

CHORUS:
La, la dee da
La dee da, dee da
Dee da da da
Hey la, la dee da
La dee da, dee da
Dee da da da

Illuminating You are to see
Truly breathtaking You are to breathe
Sending my head spinning You are, You see

And now I find a blurry line
Here between you and I
Raise the cup, drink 'til I'm full
Sing 'til I can't, 'til my voice is gone
And my head is spinning dizzy

If I'm out of my mind it's You, You
'Cause I'm crazy in love with You, You
Inebriated by You, You
'Cause I'm head over heels with You, You

I love that song.
It so describes where I am. My Savior--My Father brings me such joy.
It is overwhelming, head over heels, makes me crazy.
I love it. I love him. haha
He is my joy.
Whenever you wonder why Im crazy, it is because God made me that way, and the joy that he gives me makes me.... special. :-D


A scripture that has been on my heart lately is Acts 7.
Stephen is preaching in Jerusalem, the first part of sermons attracted a crowd, it was truth, but comfortable truth that the religious leaders could agree with. Then he gets to the good part and in my translation uses the term "Stiff-necked people."
Stephen was still speaking truth, but now it was uncomfortable.
He ticked off the same people that killed Jesus. The process was about to repeat itself with Stephen. Stephen knew it.
He looked up at the heavens and saw something glorious. Literally.
Acts 7:55
But Stephen, full of the Holy Spirit, gazed steadily into heaven and saw the glory of God, and he saw Jesus standing in the place of honor at God's right hand.

This question I pose to you. Why was Jesus standing?
In every other reference Jesus is sitting at the right hand of the Father.
So why here... is Jesus standing?

I'm thinking... Standing ovation.
Well done my good and faithful servant!
Stephen is about to die for what he believe is... for the Lord he loves so dearly. And there he is, with a standing ovation welcoming him into eternity.

At the end of my life I can think of nothing greater than to have a standing ovation welcoming me into heaven. Either that or I leave like Elijah.
God can pick. :-)

After all the spiritual warfare surrounding myself and my friends lately, it has been a fight every single day. I keep thinking though... standing ovation. And then, there's that part where you get to sit on the throne, with God! haha, I can't wait for heaven.

I want to live the kind of love that is deserving of that standing ovation. Deserving of the Savior rising to his feet off his throne of grace and bestowing an honor that brings a glorious close to a life well lived.

It is not an easy life to be sure, as I said, Satans been fighting every step of the way.
8 of my friends are about jump out of their cheers and shout when I say this, you know who you are.
Kill the Devil!

You know the Devils got it in for you. He has a plan to destroy your life, and he actively does everything he can to make you fall, to pull you out of Gods plan.
I hate him.
I really do.
Kill the Devil.
Becomes a battlecry, Kill the Devil!
In Christ, we have authority over anything he can do, and he has no business messing in the lives of those we love. He has no business interfering with our hearts trying to focus on the will of God.

It's time we step up, live lives worthy of a standing ovation, live lives everyday for Christ, even if we go to Hell at the end of the day, because its worth it.

Kill the Devil.
Rev 22:21
-Jason

P.S
Hey la, la dee da, la dee da, dee da, dee da da da

Authority, White Flags, And All the Pretty Flowers,

I went to Mardi Gras today.
Me and Mardi Gras do not get along.
All that sin, emptiness.
It is the devils playground, his dominion. It's not hell, but you can see it from there.
So Satan rules that place.

God rules Satan.

I was there for outreach, went with the church and I handed out tracks.
It was depressing to see all those broken and empty hearts.
But it was amazing to see God move in the middle of the Devils space.
Haha, God made such a glorious appearance today, there was one point where I just had to go sit down because of what he did.
I could not stand.
Just a dose of Gods glory is enough to push back the devil has to offer.
All of the saved have that authority. We have authority over all in this world. It rocks.
Do not be afraid to do something crazy for God, you have all the power and authority. In John 14 Jesus says we can do the same things he did on earth, in fact, we can do greater things.
WE CAN DO GREATER THINGS THAN JESUS.

Go.


God has been dealing with me alot lately, molding me, I've been telling him that I don't care if it hurts, whatever he has to do to make me grow in him. Do it.
So he says. "You asked for it"

It is painful, it is glorious. He has called me to take some time out of things and put it into others things. Read: (Get off the internet and talk to me.)
Yea. Good enough for me.
He's called me to stop.
Stop doing everything and just stop... smell the flowers, living life without a pause ruins the rest. I am slowing down, I am stopping to enjoy the simple things in life. Smelling all the pretty flowers.

"When Christ calls a man, he bids him come and die."

True that. I've used the title "I. Am... A Dead Man Walking" before, this is true of me. But I keep trying to resurrect myself. Things of this world, not even sins, just distractions, and they want my attention over God. Bad idea. Must stay focused.
God tries to show me everytime, before it even happens. But I'm not the brightest light you'll ever see. So it takes me a while. But then I get it.
I get it.
I'm waving my white flag to the heavens and saying
"Ok you have me, Can we go move mountains today Abba?"

You have the Authority to do greater things than Christ.
Once you surrender.

Have no fear, Salvation is here.


Rev 22:21
-Jason